Managing people starts by improving yourself

September 10, 2024 •

6 min reading

Managing people? Start by improving yourself

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Most of us have experienced good and bad bosses. And the difference is huge. A good boss makes you feel supported, builds positive workplace relationships, and boosts employee satisfaction. A bad boss, on the other hand, micromanages, shows favoritism, hinders your creativity, and makes every day feel like a grind.
Bad bosses can manifest in many forms - no emotional intelligence, overconfidence, and taking credit for other people’s work. But why do these people who seem so unsuited for leadership roles continue to rise to the top, and what can you do to be one of the good guys?

What is the extent of the bad boss problem?

Numerous studies highlight the extent of bad leadership in everything from small businesses to international organizations. In one study, 75% of employees said their boss was the most stressful part of their workday, while 56% claimed their boss was mildly or highly toxic. Such is the extent of the problem that two in five employees have left a job at some point in their career to escape a bad boss.

And the problem isn’t limited to a few bad bosses and their direct reports. A bad manager can contribute to an unhealthy work environment that negatively affects employees’ job attitudes, general well-being, and productivity. Harmful, destructive, oppressive, and counterproductive routines and work behaviors characterize it. Toxic workplaces feature bullying, harassment, discrimination, dysfunctional teams, cynicism in interpersonal relations, gossip, rumors, unproductive communication, overwork, and work-related stress. Very often, toxic leadership plays an important role in contributing to the emergence of a toxic workplace. Toxic leadership not only harms individuals but also the organization.

 

Why are there so many bad bosses?

For an employee, being engaged and enjoying your work impacts a wide range of metrics, from wellbeing and satisfaction to retention and profitability. Given the huge impact bosses have on employee performance, you would think organizations would implement selection and development programs to prevent leaders who exhibit negative characteristics and traits from rising to the top. However, that’s not always the case.

One factor at play here is something we’re calling the leadership paradox. There are many competent people out there with all the qualities of good leaders, such as integrity, humility, empathy, and self-awareness. However, paradoxically, these traits that make people good leaders don’t make them leaders to begin with. Their quiet competence and emotional intelligence can lead to them being overlooked for leadership positions, while those who make more noise and are more successful ‘at playing the game’ get promoted.

Gender diversity, or the lack of it, also plays a part in the prevalence of bad bosses. Research suggests that women, on average, have higher levels of emotional intelligence than men, and emotional intelligence is seen by many as a prerequisite for good leaders. However, despite this, there are still fewer women in leadership positions. It’s also the case that to reach senior leadership positions, women have no choice but to ‘out alpha’ their male counterparts. However, those typical alpha traits are not always beneficial in leadership, particularly when it comes to people management.

 

What are the common traits of bad bosses?

Bad bosses can take many forms. They may struggle to communicate their expectations clearly, act unprofessionally in the workplace, or set unrealistic deadlines. Here are some of the other common traits they exhibit:

  • They get political - They point score, look to advance their own agenda, engage in gossip, and create team divisions.
  • They’re insecure - They feel unstable in their position and seek to promote themselves at the expense of others.
  • They’re immature - They can react angrily or become moody when projects hit a roadblock or things don’t go their way.
  • They’re unfriendly - They show no interest in their teams on a personal level and can be abrasive and rude when communicating.
  • They take all the credit - Some bad bosses take credit for other people’s good work rather than seeking to boost their employees.
  • They lack professional boundaries - They do not respect their employees’ personal time or space.
  • They’re too demanding – Bad managers can be overly critical, set unrealistic deadlines, or give workers too much to do.
  • They micromanage - Some bosses are too controlling and do not trust staff to do their assigned tasks to the necessary level.
  • They play favorites - They treat certain team members differently by giving them more opportunities, assigning them the best tasks, or giving them less work.

If you recognize any of these behaviors in your own leadership, the good news is that you can become a better manager.

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Become a better boss: 6 tips for people management

Analysis shows that relationships with senior management are the biggest factor in employee job satisfaction, so if you exhibit any traits of bad bosses, it’s certainly something to work on. Regardless of the industry or sector you operate in, there are steps you can take to become a better manager, improve results, and positively impact turnover. The following suggestions all derive from emotionally intelligent leadership.

Show compassion

Leaders who show compassion for their workers and commitment to their happiness and wellbeing create more loyal employees, and loyal employees display better performance at work. Simply asking how employees are, showing empathy regardless of the answer, and working to resolve any workplace issues are effective first steps.

Additionally, the best managers open themselves up to the compassion of their teams. By discussing their own issues and emotions, and showing vulnerability, leaders can build trust and develop stronger relationships. This balance of leadership styles that prioritize empathy and effective problem solving fosters a positive work environment where employees feel valued and motivated.

Don’t sacrifice relationships for results

As a leader, your positive relationships with your team are your best asset, so protect them above all else and don’t jeopardize them for short-term results. Results are important, of course, but they should be carefully balanced with your responsibility to protect the wellbeing of your team.

Discover what motivates your team

As a leader, you are judged by the performance of your employees. And the best way to boost performance is to find out what drives them to do their best work. For many, money is not the answer. Sure, no one is going to turn down a raise, and it may provide a short-term motivational boost, but over the longer term, research shows that employees are more motivated by internal motivators such as feelings, values, and goals, rather than external rewards like money.

Taking the time to understand what each worker values, whether it’s feeling challenged, having additional responsibilities, maintaining work-life balance, or having the opportunity to present their ideas, can boost productivity and retention.

Show gratitude

Thanking people costs nothing and is the easiest thing in the world to do, yet it makes a big difference. It makes employees feel valued and alters how they perceive their managers and roles. However, as a leader, you should express gratitude only when it is genuinely felt or you will come across as insincere.

Give regular positive feedback

According to Gallup research, employees who receive regular positive feedback are three times more likely to be engaged. Giving feedback, offering support, and withholding judgment boosts motivation and creates a culture of authenticity. As an employee, knowing you are highly thought of develops your self-competence and autonomy, which research suggests is linked to increased job satisfaction and wellbeing.

Prioritize your own wellbeing

Leaders who are aware of their own happiness and wellbeing and practice self-care are better at helping employees prioritize theirs.
Feeling comfortable with your own state of being, letting go of judgment, and sharing your emotions with others can create a psychologically safe space where employees feel supported and happy.

 

Not just another rung on the ladder

When it comes to employee happiness, leaders have a hugely important part to play. It’s not always easy displaying good behaviors in a demanding and challenging environment, but if you don’t, you can’t expect your employees to either. By looking critically at your own leadership methods, developing your emotional intelligence, and constantly learning and adapting your approach, you can become the boss your team needs you to be.

 

Interested in advancing your career?

Discover how the Hotel General Management Program can empower you with essential leadership skills, hands-on experiences, and the confidence to excel in the fast-paced hospitality industry. Join a community of future leaders and start shaping your path to success!

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