As an introvert, do you ever feel like you’re at a disadvantage in social situations? Introverted people tend to feel happier in their own company, which can have its benefits. However, when it comes to networking, making new contacts, and selling yourself professionally, being an introvert can make these activities feel like an uphill battle.
It’s a misconception that introverts like to be isolated and spend all their time alone - far from it. Although extroverts are more likely to form new friendships, introverts tend to invest deeply in their inner circles. However, introverts tend to struggle with larger groups. They often feel drained when socializing with lots of people, while extroverts are energized. It’s the reason some introverts choose to avoid professional networking events - but it's also a mistake.
Professional networking can lead to job opportunities, career advancement, and greater professional status and authority, but it does require socializing. Fortunately, introverts can learn to become proficient networkers - and eventually even enjoy it!
Here’s the proof - introverts can become better networkers
“I hate networking” is a common refrain we hear from hospitality executives, MBA students, and other professionals. Many regard it as false, inauthentic, and superficial, but in today’s world, networking is essential.
If you have to get out there, the good news is that there are steps you can take to improve your networking skills. One study of 450 professionals found that, regardless of gender, age, career stage, or level of introversion or extroversion, you can become a better networker and accelerate your career.
Why introverts ‘hate’ networking
It’s easy to differentiate the social butterflies from the introverts in most networking situations. The extroverts will be working the room, laughing joyfully, and having effortless conversations with everyone they meet. The introverts, on the other hand, are more likely to be reading emails on their phones intently, standing against a wall, and taking their seats in the conference hall long before they’re called.
But why do introverts struggle so much with professional networking? Every situation is different, but here are some common reasons why introverts may find it challenging.
- Making small talk - Small talk is an important part of networking, particularly in the early days when you’re finding common ground and forming a connection. Introverts prefer deep and meaningful conversations and can find superficial chat uncomfortable.
- Crowded spaces - Chaotic and noisy spaces can be overwhelming for introverts and make it more difficult to build meaningful connections.
- Energy drain - Extroverts gain energy from social situations while introverts find them draining. Introverts are energized by solitary time and prefer to socialize in small groups. They have to psych themselves up to be ‘on’ in networking events, which requires more effort.
- Fear of rejection - Introverts can fear rejection when approaching people and cannot always brush off the negative impact of an awkward encounter. That fear or negative experience can affect their willingness to approach people in the future.
- Self-promotion - Professional networking often requires a degree of self-promotion. Introverts can find it uncomfortable to talk about themselves and their achievements and prefer to listen rather than talk.
Networking tips for introverts: how to survive and thrive
Many introverts actively avoid professional networking for the reasons we’ve explained, but introverts are not innately bad at networking. They can be very successful networkers because they’re good listeners and have a genuine interest in other people. Here are a few networking tips to help you get out there and improve your skills.
Switch from ‘prevention’ to ‘promotion’
People fall into two camps in professional networking scenarios: prevention or promotion. If you’re focused on prevention, you aim to get through the event unscathed and avoid clumsy errors and negative results. On the other hand, if you strive for promotion, you aim to achieve a positive win.
Due to their dislike of networking, many introverts have a preventative approach. They try to engage as little as possible and fear rejection when they do. However, it is possible to switch your mindset to one of promotion. Here are three things that you can do to get the most out of networking opportunities, both personally and professionally.
- Set yourself a goal before the event, such as ‘I’ll introduce myself to 3 people I haven’t spoken to before’
- Remind yourself of your achievements and don’t feed feelings of imposter syndrome.
- Don’t let your confidence be damaged by awkward moments or blame yourself if a conversation or encounter doesn’t go smoothly; it takes two to tango.
Play to your strengths
Some people say networking is a numbers game, but as an introvert, you should focus on quality over quantity. Rather than expending your energy talking to as many people as possible, play to your strengths and aim to forge strong bonds with a smaller group of people.
The truth is that one meaningful professional relationship can be worth a hundred casual acquaintances that you promise to grab a coffee with but never do. Professional networking is not social media where you are judged by how many ‘friends’ or ‘followers’ you have. In this case, the quality of your relationships is everything.
Introverts also tend to be better listeners and are more empathetic than extroverts, which can help them build deeper and more enduring connections. Rather than a weakness, that can make your introversion a strength.
Don’t mistake introversion for shyness
Shyness and introversion are not the same thing. Shy people tend to be excessively self-conscious and self-critical. They can even struggle to express themselves or talk confidently among their friends. That is not the same as introversion. While they might feel shy approaching people in professional scenarios, most introverts are perfectly capable of holding a conversation and expressing themselves clearly, they just prefer to do so one-on-one or in small groups.
If you fall more on the side of shyness, don’t worry. There are many ways to overcome your shy nature and introverted tendencies. Here are a few things you can do before a networking event.
1. Start with the people you know: Before heading to a big event, practice social behaviors with people you know. Try having lunch with a small group of colleagues or classmates and then practice making eye contact, using confident body language, making introductions and small talk, asking questions, or offering invitations.
2. Plan some conversation starters: Come up with some comfortable, practiced ways to start a conversation such as introducing yourself within the context of the event, giving a compliment, or making an observation.
3. Rehearse what to say and how to look: Try presenting yourself in front of a mirror, or wearing the clothes you plan to wear to the event, in order to see how you look and the overall impression you give to others.
Arrive and leave early
A simple networking tip for introverts is to arrive at the event early. Introverts dislike large groups and noisy environments, so getting there promptly allows you to start talking to people and build a rapport before it gets into full flow. That also helps you avoid walking into a busy and noisy venue where conversations and groups have already formed.
As an introvert, you also shouldn’t feel bad about leaving an event early. Networking, particularly at large gatherings, requires more cognitive effort for introverts and can be draining. Once you’ve achieved your goals and spoken to the people you’d like to connect with, don’t be afraid to bow out to recharge alone.
Learn how to leave a conversation gracefully
An important part of being a good networker is knowing when it’s time to move on. The high levels of empathy associated with introverts mean you can talk to people longer than necessary due to worries they’ll feel rejected.
If you feel like you’ve covered all the bases, rather than waiting for things to get awkward, smile and explain that it was really interesting to talk to them and say it would be great to speak again. Then take a couple of minutes to rest and recalibrate.
Meet people one-on-one
We have preconceived ideas about what networking looks like, but that doesn’t have to be your reality. Online networking, via social media, particularly LinkedIn, can be a great way to connect, start conversations and arrange face-to-face meetings.
Meeting one-on-one is more personable and plays to the strengths of introverts, who are at their best when doing away with the small talk, engaging in meaningful conversations, and building relationships.
Embrace your introversion
Whether you’re the most introverted of introverts or simply someone who hates small talk, the benefits of networking mean it’s something to work at rather than ignore. Following our tips will help you make incremental improvements and grow an extensive professional network while still being yourself.
